Take Care of Your Family First

Hi Coach,

Below you’ll find another newsletter. This one has a bit more of a serious tone, but I hope you’ll give it a read and share some feedback at the end.

In case you missed the update on the Cutting Edge Coaching content (and a brief update on my life during the past two years), you can read it here.

I hope these newsletters serve you on your coaching journey!

Best,

Luke Gromer, RYG Athletics

Last week I got one of those calls from a close friend that you hope you never get.

He told me that his marriage was in a really bad spot.

I told him I’d be there in 20 minutes and hopped in the car to go sit with him and listen.

It was a sobering experience trying to show up for a friend in that spot, and it prompted me to do some personal reflection on my marriage and relationships.

Most people are aware that divorce rates in our country hover around 50%.

But, I was curious what divorce rates were amongst coaches… 60-70%.

Sadly, it didn’t surprise me.

As coaches and leaders, we invest so much of our time and energy into growing our team, organization, business, etc. that it can become easy for us to neglect to take care of first things first.

We face demands on our time, attention, and energy that many professions don’t.

Most coaches are ambitious builders who are committed to big visions, big goals, and helping others grow.

It can be easy for us to get lost in those often noble pursuits.

But at what cost?

At the end of our coaching career, or life, if our relationships with our spouse, kids, or other family members are in shambles, was it worth it?

If we as coaches aren’t extremely intentional about how we love and care for our spouses and our own children, it’s all too easy for those relationships — the ones that should mean more to us than our professional success — to suffer.

I’m certainly not writing this as someone who is exempt from this temptation or has my marriage and family all figured out.

Far from it.

My wife and I are very different people, and we’re smack dab in the middle of the little kid phase of life, which feels like total chaos much of the time.

Maintaining a healthy marriage is hard.

Being a loving and patient father with my kids is hard.

And sometimes we all need help in the process. We don’t know if we could have made it as far as we have without good mentors and good friends, and at different times, professional help.

We’ve done some marriage counseling in the past, and we’re doing some again starting in September.

Be brave and choose to go get help when you need it.

Building a healthy marriage and family takes hard work and commitment, just like building a healthy team does.

At the end of our lives, our win-loss record and accolades won’t be on our tombstones.

At the end of my life, I hope that the people that mattered the most to me are standing by my tombstone, filled with gratitude for the relationship we had.

A few thoughts on how this concept could apply in our coaching or leadership contexts…

Thanks for reading, I hope this serves you on your journey.

To your growth,

Luke Gromer, RYG Athletics

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